I turn 26 in two hours’ time. Here are 26 things I am angry about and intend to overthrow before I turn 28*

1. The Coalition

2. The patriarchy

3. The distinct lack of free chlamydia screening for people my age

4. Theresa May

5. Bankers

6. Hiding anchovies inside perfectly nice olives

7. The Coalition

8. The kyriarchy

9. Tories

10. Lib Dems

11. Labour

12. Fuck it, parliamentary politics on the whole

13. Rapists

14. People who don’t find lame puns funny

15. Andrew Lansley

16. The government

17. The patriarchy

18. Putting milk in tea without explicit prior consent

19. Plane trees

20. The police

21. Rape apologists

22. Prawn crackers

23. Tax avoiders

24. Nadine Dorries

25. The government

26. The patriarchy

There may be some overlap between concepts. This is because everything is connected.

*I have a slight aversion to the number three and its multiples, and therefore will be skipping 27 (3^3) and doing 28 twice.

3 thoughts on “26”

  1. Happy BIrthday!

    My present to you is the knowledge that ‘the patriarchy’ does not exist so you are saved at least three of those things to do off your list.

    If you want to discover how it doesn’t exist (which would be much quicker than smashing it believe me) I recommend you read Foucault. All of him. And also Judith Butler and I am afraid, Mark Simpson.

    I am also available for questions.

    Happy Birthday again!

    1. Is there any chance that prawn crackers also don’t exist? Or Theresa May? That would make me very happy indeed 😀

      1. ‘fraid not. I have eaten prawn crackers and there have been many sightings of Theresa May with other evidence of her existence. e.g. the fact she exists.

        But enjoy the hopeless quest anyway! Life is kind of like that.

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