People I won’t have sex with, ever.

The stereotype of the sex-hating feminist fails to hold up to a cursory glance, let alone any degree of scrutiny. There are, however, some people I will never have sex with, ever…

The festering frothing anuses at askmen have been at it again. Last spotted providing pick-up lines to demonstrate dickhead status, this time they think they have happened upon some feminist demands women secretly want to be ignored.

Askmen rather like the feminist struggle, they claim, because it means that there is finally the prospect of the holy grail of relationships: “the non-clingy girlfriend”. I’m assuming these dripping bellends would be lucky to have any girlfriend, clingy or otherwise, given that their attitude towards spending time with women is a grating display of tedious benevolent sexism.

Apparently, women secretly want men to carry their bags for them, pay for meals out, make decisions for them and get married, no matter how feminist they proclaim to be. Also, Askmen reckon that we women love to be objectified. Thank you for speaking for we little fragile women, Askmen.

Now, Askmen seem to have a little bit of a hang-up about what they call “chivalry”, but is more accurately termed benevolent sexism, with a plethora of articles with tips for demonstrating “gentlemanliness” and defending chivalry against those big nasty feminists. They seem to believe it’s the way into a woman’s knickers. It isn’t.

I have been on dates with “chivalrous” men, and it has rarely ended up in the bedroom, as it is irksome to be treated like a cross between a sickly pensioner and a small child. I have a cunt. That isn’t a disability. I am also, unsurprisingly, hugely turned off by people propping up oppressive systems. When called out on their behaviour, the chivalrous types invariably mansplain (they are always men) to me why it is all right, and mansplaining is about as sexy as mankinis.

I have, a few times, had sex with the bag-carrying, door-opening dinner buyers. Every time, the sex has been rubbish, as I’m not entirely sure they view women as people, but rather projects with a strict protocol.

So, for this outstanding contribution to furthering the cause of infuriating behaviour, Askmen, I am never going to have sex with you.


Anyone clicking this next link requires a trigger warning. This little shitbag advocates rape. The writer  seems to believe he has written a humourous piece on “sexual mathematics“. He “mathematically” suggests that it is worth trying it on with a woman after a date, as 75% of women are likely to put out on the first date. He concludes with what will inevitably be defended as a “joke”, pointing out that 85% of rapes go unreported, implying that these are worthwhile odds to take.

This is yet another tired example of rape culture, albeit even closer to an outright suggestion of rape than usual. As an aside, it is also terribly written and thoroughly unreferenced, which leads me to question how this seeping bellend managed to get to university in the first place.

Remember that rapists are more likely to subscribe to rape myths, and the contribution to rape culture is a dangerous, dangerous thing. Having sex with those who trivialise and laugh at rape is ultimately never a good idea: to such individuals, consent is optional. For Unilad and his ilk, the chances of sex should be no more than zero.

The Activists

Touched upon in yesterday’s post on consensual power, BDSM and anarchism, tedious fuckwits The Activists think that sex is a waste of time.

Fuck that shit.

Brendan O’Neill

I think I may have mentioned this before, but Brendan O’Neill is a weeping syphilitic chode, a misogynist and all-round awful human being. He is the tiny infected penile avatar of rape culture, reeking of stale beer and a longing for the 90s. He hasn’t even done anything to specifically piss me off today, but it bears repeating and reminding every day.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Brendan O’Neill is a weeping syphilitic chode.

11 thoughts on “People I won’t have sex with, ever.”

  1. I get the feeling, from reading some of their articles, that Askmen seem to have got the right idea but have taken it down the wrong road, as if they’ve learned to be grownups but can’t quite let go of their lads mags upbringing. Bless ’em, they’re trying I suppose.

    Unilad, well what can I say apart from the guy isn’t joking about rape. Strikes me as the kind of person who, while he’d certainly think long about it, possibly wouldn’t rape someone. He’s also the kind of person who’d enjoy hearing his mates experience if it did happen to include rape.

    The Activists? Dear god/vishnu/deity of your choosing (including George Clooney if you really must), wake me up. Boring with a hint of comedy over the strict adherence to what they believe the cause is. Don’t think you’d have to worry about sex with them, you’d be asleep during the discussions over which positions to use in order to make sure they didn’t oppress anyone.

    And finally Brendan O’Neill. No. Just plain no. I may even extend it to a ‘Hell no’, and we’re not just looking at the sex thing (not my type anyway), just everything to do with him is evidently a bad idea.

    So thank you, I shall now go expunge my browser history and possibly my eyes and hope never to read anything by the aforementioned people again.

    Curiosity dictates I ask the question “So who would you have sex with?” but the obvious answer is “Whomever I choose” so I shall cease and desist

  2. The people who think that advocating rape is a appropriate for light-hearted ‘lad’ banter may have been struck off your ‘People I might sleep with’ list, but on the plus side they’ve been added to my ‘People I hope get raped’ list.

      1. …I hoped that would be clear as I condemned the advocating of rape as light-hearted humour and then made a light-hearted joke about rape. I was trying to exemplify my point but in hindsight, if people take it literally I just look like a twat.

  3. carefull.
    “I have a cunt. That isn’t a disability.” I know I tend to overthink stuff a lot. But there could be unfortunate implication that anyone with a disability is free to be considered as object.
    I have my lady parts too. And a disability on it, and be sure its not fair to treat me like a child, and it would spoil date chances.
    Maybe you just forgot, so take it just as a feedback, I am not angry or anything.

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