Love your disgusting, stinky fannymuffins: Femfresh and the backlash

Femfresh are a company that make products to disguise the natural scent of your cunt with an array of soaps and perfumed wipes, which, presumably, then serve to cover up the inevitable bacterial vaginosis or thrush from use of the product.

Now, cunts are great, and there’s nothing wrong with the natural aroma of them, but Femfresh have a product to sell and therefore need to pretend that there is. Instead of going by the “YOUR CUNT IS DISGUSTING AND YOUR HUSBAND WILL LEAVE YOU SO DOUCHE WITH CLEANING PRODUCTS” route, like the Lysol ads of old, Femfresh have alighted upon faux-empowerment.

It’s all about “care”, they proclaim. It’s better than soap, they proclaim. WOOHOO FOR MY FROO FROO, they actually literally say, accompanied by a string of other nauseatingly infantilised synonyms for a cunt. “Whatever you call it, make sure that you love it”, they explain. Then they decided to take the show on the digital road and set up a Facebook page.

What followed was gratifying. The page was over-run by women furious being told that they needed to risk thrush and a cunt that smells like a hospital corridor to be “clean”. Under every post, jokes about bacterial vaginosis appeared. There was also a lot of ire directed at the sickeningly euphemistic turns of phrase used by Femfresh.

Soon, Femfresh backtracked on their “whatever you call it, make sure that you love it” line and became huffy about people saying words like “cunt” and “vulva” on their page. They even, bafflingly, explained to twitterer @GreenEyed82, that “vulva” was offensive to “mums of daughters”. All in all, it was a huge failure in social media marketing. They just couldn’t delete the comments quickly enough.

The problem is, it was always going to be social media suicide for a product like Femfresh. While there is certainly a demographic of women who have become, through marketing, paranoid about the smell of their cunts, times are changing. There are a lot of women around who know that putting something perfumed on a delicately-balanced part of the body can only lead to itching, often because this has happened to them and they have been told by people who actually know what they’re talking about that washing with anything other than water is A Bad Idea. There are a lot of women around who accept that cunts smell and that’s quite all right because they’ve never had a potential lover run screaming and clutching their nose. There are a lot of women around who object to having their cunts infantilised with words like “la-la” and “froo-froo”.

And so we shout. And so we kick up a stink. And so Femfresh’s job of making us hate our cunts becomes just that bit harder.

That can only be a good thing.

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For more on cunt-scent and Femfresh, Girlonthenet has written a stormingly good post.

13 thoughts on “Love your disgusting, stinky fannymuffins: Femfresh and the backlash”

  1. Ladies, please explain this FemFresh concept to us gents.

    I’m a little confused by it, to be honest. There’s been many a time where I’ve been out for a drink with a lady, and I can’t recall a single occasion where the evening has been brought to a juddering halt by me suddenly thinking, “Hang on a minute, what’s that whiff? Is her vagina smelling?”

  2. I guess there’s no women working in P&G’s product development & market research teams, then.

    Or maybe there *are* and they see an increased incidence in irritation, thrush, and vaginosis as cost-effective market-development for palliative creams and ointments.

    I can’t see men pursuing that particular commercial strategy: it means LESS SEX. So I’ll put any male involvement in this one down to wilful pig-ignorance and stupidity.

    That’s a great thing to tell the shareholders: your company’s future and its public face are in the hands of toxic and irritating berks whose market-research and customer-communication efforts are so bad as to be actively injurious.

    Meanwhile, I feel no need to comment on the morals of marketing a product by making people feel ashamed and disgusted by their own healthy genitals. There are no words, and no need of them: no insult or invective worse than a factual description of the deed.

  3. I can’t believe they are claiming “vulva” is a dirty word. WHAT THE?
    It reminds me of the Ali G where he’s trying to work out which naughty words would get what film classification.

  4. With all those weird words being used as synonyms for vagina it sounds like their advertising is being run by the Teletubbies. Then again, looking at how they’ve misjudged their target audience, that doesn’t seem entirely impossible.

  5. You nailed it with this entry! I used femfresh as I was told it was kinder than soap. What a load of crock. 2 tubes of clotrimazole for thrush later and I scratch my head at exactly what was I thinking when I fell for that. I must have been unwell.

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